Thoughts

In 3 more days, 2009 will come to a close & a new yr will herald in... wonder how many more of these new years we're actually have? 2009 has been a yr of ups & downs, lots of discoveries, eye-opening situations, setbacks, down lows, etc... 2009 saw more crazily stuff in our world again, not a surprise anymore seeing that humans can nv ever learn frm past mistakes nor try & work out their differences in a civil manner... Climate talks to change the world's state started with a loud bang & hopes for smartness ensued but all it ended in was in a pathetic whimper. I've come to realise that it's always major yakking but no actions, it gets sully depressing even just being human. Maybe it'll be just so much better if the world came to an end today, so there'll be no more hate, no more war, no more stupidity of mankind... Myabe God should just strike us all down now one by one, since we have proven tt we're not going to or are ever willing to learn. Well, enough of the crappy world talk.

What do I see for 2010? Well, I plan on putting myself more in front of others for at least once a wk this time around... no more chucking myself far behind & trying to save the world or applease everyone... I'm not God I realise & I can only do so much. I've collasped far down below until almost depression the last half of 2009. My security bubble having collasped this yr also showed me that I need to think abt me... thankfully thru this, I've learnt to be wiser, stronger & find new supportive friends thru it. Re-discovering myself alone in the UK was also a plus point.. sure I was with friends but it was being able to fly on a plane by myself for the 1st time & able to do things that I want to do on a trip, was totally invigorating. I'm also thankful for my husband, who supported me & gave me the peace of heart to go by myself.... that was what I needed, support.

2010 will also see me take charge of my current upcoming project... it's in its infancy & I'm having big ambitions for it. I want it to stay & last & not be some flash in the pan. I'm gonna take more importance in trying to do charity stuff... give back to the society... follow in my inspiration's footsteps & spread the msg. I've got a gd team behind me & with his blessings & God's, it'll go far. My new house is still in construction & tt will be also another major project to look into... saving up big-time for it. Once tt is done, there'll be so much to do still, before we move it... nerve-wrecking but it's gotta be done... it's so tiring being a nomad.

I hope for more patience & breathing space for the new year... & tt my head stays on & my heart keeps strong. Love earth, love life, love God, love those who's been an inspiration & been there for me.

My Tribute to Michael Jackson

The man would have been 51 yesterday
But never lived to see his 51st
His life constantly watched,
Viewed under a microscope
His soul and every action
Stripped raw and exposed
Even in death, he couldn't rest in peace
Constant rumour mills work relentlessly
What do these seek to achieve
No one knows...
The truth?
That is something only he will know
Forever sealed in his heart.

He chose a path
Where music brought souls together
The language that transcended
Beyond all barriers
Young or old
Colour or creed
Everyone knew that name so deep
Songs that spoke out
Songs that touched
Songs that united
Songs that fired
Man in the mirror
Fragile beyond words
Life put out there
Torn to shreds

A human like any other
A mother's son
A father's flesh
Brothers and sisters in arms
A son's shelter
A daughter's care-giver
A friend's pillar
A cause fighter
Spare him now,
No more grief and strife
Remember the good
Forgive the wrongs
A heart so big
Yet so alone
Man in the mirror
A soul forlorn

Ramblings

Gosh.... the new term has only like just begun, coming into start of Week 4 & I'm already wiped out, flatter than a piece of popiah skin (roti prata doesn't even make it, man)... I'm feeling like it's Week 7 of the last term & it's only Term 3... bah... this term is tightering its noose around my neck harder 'cos the kids Trinity Guildhall assessments are in 4 & 5 wks ago & I only see them for an hr & a half, once a wk (@_@) Some of 'em just doesn't have the urgency, my Primary 1s & I'm so stressed for 'em... make a mental note to self - No Primary 1 classes nxt yr!!!! Gimme the wailing, screaming, flopping, screeching, peeing & vomiting Nursery kids anytime 'cos after all tt, they settle better & no need to do any assessments whatsoever.

Frm now, gotta tighten my belt even more (like it's not tight enough already... I can't even breathe) new house coming soon in abt a yr & a half, so tt's gonna take a lot out of every single pocket of mine & hubby's... planning to take my driving licence nxt yr too & tt costs a bomb here in Sg... haiz... I need to get over my phobia of driving 1st before tt.. The drivers & roads of Sg are further stress-inducing to any normal person.. hah... wanna further my studies too but not too sure if my pockets can handle tt as well & whether I'd pass out frm all I have stacked on me at this moment.

Sometimes I just wanna fly high & say gd-bye or just dig myself deep into the ground... even sleep doesn't bring peace... no, my ever active mind doesn't shut down, it thinks even more thoughts - a million & one more thoughts so much so tt I take 2-3 hrs to fall asleep. Today after returning frm work (tired after doing classes on both Sat - 9am-10am, 10am-11am, 11.30am-1pm, 2.30pm-4pm, 4pm-4.30pm... Sun - 9am-10am, 10am-11am, 11.30am-1pm, 1pm-2.30pm, 3pm-4pm) I collasped onto my mum's bed like a log & my mum said I slept so straight, stiff & rigid like a beached whale... see? Even in sleep, I'm all stressed out... & they wonder why I'm so tired even tho' I sleep til late on my off-days. I need a hammer to knock me out cold so I can sleep better I guess. Anyone?

Do u remember the time?

Do you remember the time before MJ was accused of those child molestation cases? Do you remember the time when he made music videos that blew our minds? Do you remember the time he gathered many famous names to record the meaningful song 'We Are The World'? Do you remember the time when he took our breath away with his crazy dance moves & the famous 'Moonwalk'? Do you remember the time when he championed for 39 charities? Do you remember the time he boomed on-screen with Thriller? Do you remember the time he was the 1st African American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV? and Do you remember the time you wondered how on earth he executed that anti-gravity lean in 'Smooth Criminal'?

I've forever mourned the death of my favourite King - Elvis Presley (Daddy E) & now I add another iconic King to that - Michael Jackson, King of Pop... It's still unbelievable abt his passing but maybe with it, MJ will finally get the peace that he needed, the one peace that eluded him when he was alive. Daddy E, take good care of MJ in that musical paradise up there & rest peacefully, MJ... love and peace and light to your children and your family.

What was strange for me was tt for 2 days straight prior to MJ's passing, his song 'Man in the Mirror' kept playing in my head... & for a person who hardly dreams at night while asleep, I dreamt abt MJ the night before he passed.

& so this is how it is...

Today's my hubby's 36th bday (4 more yrs til the Big 40, old man already... LOLx) pity he's tied up & super busy at work... but then again tt's how it is most of the time when u're working. I've worked on some of my bdays too... maybe we should have like a special granted day of leave for ur special day of birth.. hahah.. anyways, to make up for not having his bday today, the Bear will be having a BBQ tmr evening with me & his friends. I've just worked out the menu finally (was distracted by emails, food & games.. heh heh), so tmr we'll go shopping for the BBQ. Tmr will also be the day when I see whether or not I fail in my cake. It's officially been like what 6-8 yrs since I've last baked back at my old place... had thought it was only 5 yrs since then but my mum had just reminded me tt we've been at our current place for almost 6 yrs now! Crikey!!

I haven't baked in ages 'cos I don't have an oven... oh sure, the condo we live in has built in oven, but the twice I tried to use the oven, the whole apartment blk short-circuited =p Blah... using the microwave oven to bake isn't the same as using an oven. So until I get my own pad done (hurry up now HDB!!!) I can't do oven baking & can only do cold desserts... sigh, I so do miss my baking. I do cooking as well but it's different with baking & tt's what I miss, the stress relieve baking brings. Back to the cake, I had made it yesterday evening & checking in on it today, it looks gd... but the truth will only be known tmr once it's been decorated, cut & tasted... so wish me luck!

Hubby's 1st ever proper meal

& so yes... it has taken my hubby exactly 4 yrs 6mths & a day to actually cook a proper meal for me... this was at the request of my dad (his father-in-law) so how to say no? LOLx... sure he has cooked for me, but it's usually small scale stuff & ones tt I can count off with both hands - 3 times of Carbonara, 3 times of wanton noodles, 3 times of American bfast & 6 times of instant noodles... & tt's tt... getting Chef Teo to ever cook anything is totally difficult =p He just likes to eat, eat, eat, eat! LOLx

So as per Father-in-law's request, the man had to finally do a proper meal - dinner to be exact - potato, carrots & celery soup, steamed 3-eggs with pork & stir-fried vegetables =D

Chef Teo preparing the ingredients for his soup =D

Above: Working on his steamed 3-eggs with pork

Below: End product of his steamed 3-eggs with pork =)

So what's the verdict? His soup & veg were gd but the steamed 3 eggs with pork was a lil off. I’m just being honest & not I'm not being mean yah.. LOLx.. Hubby's kinda rusty with 1 of his dishes, due to his yrs of non-use cooking skills. The touch is definitely still there but measurements of food item ratio has gone a little... heh heh.. tt's what happens when one hasn't been cooking for many many yrs =p

Dinner is served!!!!!

Mummy & Daddy enjoyed the food & hubby's totally wiped out just frm cooking 3 simple dishes... ahahaha... I think Chef Teo's more suited with 1-dish meals than 3-4 dish meals.. heh heh... on the other note, how long more til the next proper meal tt my hubby will cook? Anyone placing bets?? =D

Nature snapshots