Thoughts

In 3 more days, 2009 will come to a close & a new yr will herald in... wonder how many more of these new years we're actually have? 2009 has been a yr of ups & downs, lots of discoveries, eye-opening situations, setbacks, down lows, etc... 2009 saw more crazily stuff in our world again, not a surprise anymore seeing that humans can nv ever learn frm past mistakes nor try & work out their differences in a civil manner... Climate talks to change the world's state started with a loud bang & hopes for smartness ensued but all it ended in was in a pathetic whimper. I've come to realise that it's always major yakking but no actions, it gets sully depressing even just being human. Maybe it'll be just so much better if the world came to an end today, so there'll be no more hate, no more war, no more stupidity of mankind... Myabe God should just strike us all down now one by one, since we have proven tt we're not going to or are ever willing to learn. Well, enough of the crappy world talk.

What do I see for 2010? Well, I plan on putting myself more in front of others for at least once a wk this time around... no more chucking myself far behind & trying to save the world or applease everyone... I'm not God I realise & I can only do so much. I've collasped far down below until almost depression the last half of 2009. My security bubble having collasped this yr also showed me that I need to think abt me... thankfully thru this, I've learnt to be wiser, stronger & find new supportive friends thru it. Re-discovering myself alone in the UK was also a plus point.. sure I was with friends but it was being able to fly on a plane by myself for the 1st time & able to do things that I want to do on a trip, was totally invigorating. I'm also thankful for my husband, who supported me & gave me the peace of heart to go by myself.... that was what I needed, support.

2010 will also see me take charge of my current upcoming project... it's in its infancy & I'm having big ambitions for it. I want it to stay & last & not be some flash in the pan. I'm gonna take more importance in trying to do charity stuff... give back to the society... follow in my inspiration's footsteps & spread the msg. I've got a gd team behind me & with his blessings & God's, it'll go far. My new house is still in construction & tt will be also another major project to look into... saving up big-time for it. Once tt is done, there'll be so much to do still, before we move it... nerve-wrecking but it's gotta be done... it's so tiring being a nomad.

I hope for more patience & breathing space for the new year... & tt my head stays on & my heart keeps strong. Love earth, love life, love God, love those who's been an inspiration & been there for me.